Forty Four Things People Said on the Internet

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FightMilk22
Dec 4, 2019 12:08 PM EST

When something is chiseled in stone, it remains there till the elements degrade it, which can be hundreds of years. When something is said online and is then screenshot by users, it remains legible forever. Like these Seventy-Seven things people said online that were screenshot 

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  • 01
    Text - Kiernan Shipka @kiernanshipka So my grandpa has been drinking White Claws for an entire month without knowing they contain alcohol
    via From Reddit
  • 02
    Text - Mark Dalgleish @markdalgleish Developers during hackathon: We built an entire application in just 3 days. Developers after hackathon: Adding that icon is going to take 3 weeks.
    via From Reddit
  • 03
    Text - jim @urvillageidiot being called a pussy isnt even an insult to me bro i know you love pussy, so basically you just said you loved me, which means you're gay and we have to kiss now 0:34 02 Mar 19 Twitter for iPhone 381 Retweets 2,609 Likes
    via From Reddit
  • 04
    Text - james nielssen @LilYeetx L bro you remember being like 8 no phone no mp3 player completely unprepared just showing up to school with a lunchable like fuck it whatever happens to me today happens
    via From Reddit
  • 05
    The white in the Walmart gives it a classy look m 1d Tryna decorate my bathroom can't choose which bag I should use smisV d9 Wonorm mi ove so కVE M of HO
    via From Reddit
  • 06
    Text - azaSamantha DeLoach @Sam_DeLoach *checks pregnancy test & it's positive* teen: omg my mom's gonna kill me unborn baby: omg my mom's gonna kill me 6:00 AM Dec 1, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
    via From Reddit
  • 07
    Text - Daquan Wiltshire @DaquanDMV Notice how it's not Japanese people complaining about anyone cosplaying Japanese characters 6:38 PM 27 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone 32 Retweets 137 Likes
    via From Reddit
  • 08
    Text - DJ Sexual Chocolate @djscmusic Do people up north say "pop that pussy" or "soda that pussy"? 7:22 PM 11/30/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via From Reddit
  • 09
    Text - Shafic Osman @Uncle_Drew94 The most humbling thing as a young ambitious person is coming to terms with your mediocrity. It hits you in ways you could potentially not recover from.
    via From Reddit
  • 10
    Text - Adam Grant What's the worst career advice you've ever @AdamMGrant 1d received? Mine: (1) Don't waste your time helping oters (2) Drop 90% of your projects, because you can only do one at a time (3) Don't write a book 1,092 t31,095 6,359 Monica Lewinsky @MonicaLewinsky Replying to @AdamMGrant an internship at the white house will be amazing on your resume.
    via From Reddit
  • 11
    Text - т @TMN3218 Every single one of the Kardashians is a single mother except the one with a sex tape.. moral of the story: Be a hoe.
    via From Reddit
  • 12
    Text - Tweet Danya @dxxnya my sister was worried about bring- ing her girlfriend to thanksgiving because she hasn't come out to our conservative, texan, retired preacher, grandfather. so i turned on gold rush on discovery channel and he didn't even blink for like 4 hours 12:47 AM 30 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone 14.7K Retweets 275K Likes
    via From Reddit
  • 13
    Text - Adrianna Morin @freakingadri Do you ever notice yourself getting bad agai...like, you know you're not doing work that needs to be done, you know you're not cleaning, you know you're not taking care of yourself..you know all the things you need to do to start trying to feel better. But you just can't.
    via From Reddit
  • 14
    Text - 11:07 PM AT&T Tweet Amadeus Almighty @AlmightyAmadeus Is buttcheeks one word, or shou ld I spread them apart? 4:04 PM 11/29/19 Twitter for iPhone 13 Retweets 114 Likes Tweet your reply
    via From Reddit
  • 15
    Text - frequon Peacock- 7 hrs Them 4 days off damn near made me forget I had a job I hate it here Like Comment Share 1.6K 13,475 shares
    via From Reddit
  • 16
    Text - Adrianna Morin @freakingadri Do you ever notice yourself getting bad agai...like, you know you're not doing work that needs to be done, you know you're not cleaning, you know you're not taking care of yourself...you know all the things you need to do to start trying to feel better. But you just can't.
    via From Reddit
  • 17
    Text - danny nett @dannynett friendly reminder that planet earth is dense molten core encased in a layer of solids and therefore is, technically speaking, a ravioli
    via From Reddit
  • 18
    Text - Roy Wood Jr-Ex Jedi @roywoodjr If the Avengers should've just left shit alone. Thanos was right. CBS Los Angeles @CBSLA 14h A WATCH: Brake lights in both directions on 405 Freeway in West LA as Thanksgiving travel rush gets underway Stu Mundel has the latest cbsloc.al/35A2ZFA O2 MCaSLA
    via From Reddit
  • 19
    Text - Amber Sparks @ambernoelle Please can we stop asking celebrities and rich people with full-time nannies how they balance work and family because my brain can only handle so much earnest societal disconnect 10:52 AM 26 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone
    via From Reddit
  • 20
    Face - priscilla page @BBW BFF but that's..that's the book. that's what the book is about SThe Sun Follow OTheSun Snowflake students claim Frankenstein's monster was 'misunderstood' - and is in fact a VICTIM
    via From Reddit
  • 21
    Text - eternalgirlscout i will kill you: basic threat; overused; lacks serious weight pee your pants: up-and-coming; respectable; unexpected i will pee your pants: full of the promise of grief and terror; absolutely devastating zerpderptwerp Your pants can't wait for my pee too-easy-being-green And here we have it, the most terrifying sentence in the universe
    via From Reddit
  • 22
    Text - @wkam... Nov 25 W.Kamau Bell We're about to find out how someone can get less than 0% of the Black vote. Resist Programming @R Nov 24 "Kids" from "lower income, minority neighborhoods" don't have "someone they know personally who testifies to the value of education." - Pete Buttigieg, 2011 South Bend Mayoral Candidate #MayorPete #PeteForAmerica #Pete2020 #Buttigieg2020 #Buttigieg Show this thread 0:27 1.7M views t 746 203 4.2K
    via From Reddit
  • 23
    Text - Scott Lynch @scottlynch78 The three random yet recurring phases of cat ownership: 1- You are as elegant as moonlight and shadow, my sleek panther, my tiny hunter 2- You are my little boopersnoot squigglebutt squishydoodle 3- STOP CRAPPING OUTSIDE YOUR GODDAMN BOX YOU MALEVOLENT LITTLE STENCH GARGOYLE 3:13 PM 2019-03-22 Twitter Web Client
    via From Reddit
  • 24
    Joint - zoey dollaz @ZoeyDollaz When yo lawyer do this .. u going to jail
    via From Reddit
  • 25
    Helmet - Kazeem Famuyide @Kazeem Two black QBs with two black ass names. They sound like members of 112 SI Sports Illustrated @SInow 7h . DeShaun Watson and Lamar Jackson are the only QB's to defeat the Patriots this season RAVENS
    via From Reddit
  • 26
    Head - The Night King is just Darth Maul after a kick ass piece of gum. 12:40 PM 4/20/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via From Reddit
  • 27
    Text - AT&T LTE 12:41 AM Tweet SCAM GODDESS @DivaLaci When black people see a "black movie" and it's bad, we tell NO ONE. Then, when we're all alone, just us blacks, with the windows shut and curtains drawn...we roast the shit out of it. We're not allowed to fail 11:39 PM 11/29/19 Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet55 Likes Tweet your reply
    via From Reddit
  • 28
    Text - jaboukie @jaboukie they're still portraying santa klaus as white even tho he gives gifts to millions of his secret families behind mrs klaus's back every year he is at least caribbean if not nigerian
    via From Reddit
  • 29
    Text - Meredith Ireland @Meredithlreland *demon stands amid your destroyed work space* Demon: *booming* HOW? How were you able to summon me?! You (frantically clicking undo) *screaming and crying*: I don't know. I was just trying to format an outline in Word. You were supposed to be bullet points
    via From Reddit
  • 30
    Text - @3Almightyshak British niggas be like "have you heard that new playboy caughty" 6:24 PM 11/25/19 Twitter for iPhone 31.5K Retweets 150K Likes
    via From Reddit
  • 31
    Text - Queen B. @KissBreesBeauty The fact that my grandma went on strike this Thanksgiving and went to Vegas instead is mind blowing Homegirl not even answering her phone. 10:39 PM 27 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone
    via From Reddit
  • 32
    Text - t Noname Retweeted George M Johnson @lamGMJohnson Prison if you're Black. Millions of you're white. What in the baby hair? @DPMCanty Nov 18 Finish this sentence: Marijuana is gateway drug to.... Show this thread
    via From Reddit
  • 33
    Text - I want to paint you green and spank you like a disobedient avocado And I want to burn my eyeballs so I can unsee that sentence.
    via From Reddit
  • 34
    Text - Ben Rosen Follow @ben_rosen UNCLE: I say this every year but- ME: not this again MOM: we're NOT talking politics this thanksgiving UNCLE: without luigi there is no waluigi, therefore he is responsible for waluigi's many sins ME: ARE YOU SAYING WALUIGI HAS NO FREE WILL UNCLE: I SAID WHAT I FUCKING SAID 11:32 PM - 27 Nov 2019
    via From Reddit
  • 35
    Text - Pigeon Fancier @isabelzawtun My new heist movie is just 100% crew-assembling. A new character is introduced every five minutes. It has the most unweildy cast in the history of cinema. The Smashmouth soundtrack never stops playing. Critics are calling the plot "nonexistent." It has grossed $30bn worldwide 12:53 PM Nov 29, 2019 Twitter Web App
    via From Reddit
  • 36
    Text - Keep Calm and Carrion @JackOfQuills how did "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" become the typical sentence that contains all letters of the alphabet and not "sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow" which is objectively a million times cooler 11:41 PM 11 Apr 18
    via From Reddit
  • 37
    Face - OG Kita P @ltsmeKaypee 13h Bro my granny was just sitting in the middle of the kitchen in her wheelchair & my uncle said "aight mama you gone have to get ya Uber out the kitchen" GIF 104 t 7,390 30.7K
    via From Reddit
  • 38
    Text - Erica @eerrriicaa This kid I used to babysit for almost ten years ago just found my IG and immediately dmed me to let me know that I was the first girl he ever jerked off to. Oh 11/26/19, 6:41 PM
    via From Reddit
  • 39
    Text - Inside boo boo If rubbing alcohol fixes outside boo boo, then drinking alcohol fixes inside boo boo Chris no 445 8 Share Award BEST COMMENTS wormsgalore 1d Inside Booboo is the name of the gay Flintstones porno I'm directing 14 Reply
    via From Reddit
  • 40
    Text - Cruel Sun @NerdLifeThuggin 6 minutes? Nigga she love you Wholesome Black Man @BlvkKing 1d She rode dick for 6min then said "ok you gotta fuck me now I'm tired" I almost left Show this thread 9:51 AM 11/29/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via From Reddit
  • 41
    Text - benepla Wtf is an ecofascist benepla Imao benepla oh god the earth is dying Igotta be racist celticpyro Someone: *litters* Captain Planet: Ariana Grande (Origin... Today at 9:12 PM wow! im going to say a slur now
    via From Reddit
  • 42
    Text - Raven's Sin of Literature @TheBoyWhoWrote Send me a "we need to talk" text and I'm just going to respond with "yeah. We absolutely do." Now we're both waiting with spicy armpits
    via From Reddit
  • 43
    Text - Cydni Beer @cydbeer My husband almost fell down the stairs and now we are in a heated debate as to whether my gasp was out of fear for his safety or excitement about a possiblelife insurance payout
    via From Reddit
  • 44
    Text - Meg If your name is Jessica from Guelph, your boyfriend Ryan (ears pierced) is sitting in the Brock library talking absolute TRASH about you to his lady companion. I'm not tryna start shit but he said you're a 6 in bed and she says he should break up with you. IM SNITCHIN 1:09 PM 2019-12-02 Twitter Web App 670 Retweets 2,684 Likes
    via From Reddit

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